How to Win a World Series

Winning a World Series is no easy feat. Out of the current 30 MLB Teams 8 of them have not won a World Series, ever.  Since 1903, only 69 managers have won a World Series.  In fact, it is so hard to win a World Series, the Cubs haven’t won one in 103 years, which actually puts a smile on my face.  Some of baseball’s greats have never won a World Series, Ted Williams, Ken Griffey Jr, Ty Cobb, and any Cub player that played after 1908 unless you were one of the lucky ones like Lou Brock who got traded to a winner (ie: The Cardinals). 

So I am sure you are asking yourself  “Adam, you are a loan officer.  How the heck do you know how to win a World Series?”  Well I am glad you asked.  As noted above, it is not easy but I have found a way to just about guarantee you win a World Series. 

 First things first-you can’t play for the Cubs. It’s obvious that they are one of the worst teams in baseball when it comes to winning.  Now if you like to drink Old Style, get super drunk, and choke away every opportunity you ever have, than play for the Cubs or be a Cubs fan.  When you do choke you’ll at least be able to blame it on a goat, ball, or one of your own fans (see Steve Bartman).  

 Second, avoid being a fan of or playing for any team out of Texas.  We all know everything is bigger in Texas, this includes losses. No team that is currently based in Texas has won a World Series.  Between the Houston Astros and the Texas Rangers that is a solid 99 years of losing, not quite as awful as the Cubs but pretty bad.

 Third, and probably most important is to make sure a Crutchfield was born in the year you want your team to win the World Series. I was lucky enough to be born in 1982 when the Cardinals laid the smack down on the Brewers and my son Max was born in 2011 when the Cardinals crushed the Texas Rangers.  In a year of rally squirrels, good luck turtles, and happy flights we can also add the Crutchfield rally baby to the mix. 

It’s crazy to think that I have been on this earth long enough to have a baby and both of us have gotten to see a World Series win, not one single living Cubs fan can say that.  Of course my son and I are just doing our part as Cardinals fans but it is a pretty awesome bond that we share together.  A bond that not many people can share, *cough* *cough* Cubs fans.

I don’t want to get everyone’s hopes up to high, my family has no plans of having a baby in 2012 but if things go as planned I suggest you buy playoff tickets for the 2013 season as soon as possible.

The Rally Baby

Comments

  1. LOVED THIS! Too funny! I am ordering my 2013 PLAYOFF TICKETS TODAY!!

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