CoMO Sports: Jet’s Top 10 Columbia Softball Team Names

This will be a new monthly feature from me on The CoMO Collective. Today’s Top 10 list will focus on Columbia Parks & Rec. Okay, it will actually focus on Cosmo Park. Alright, it will focus on the Rainbow Softball Complex. Fine, you got me. It will focus on the best team names for some of our local beer-guzzling, slow-pitch, summer softball heroes of the diamond.

This is what qualifies: Funny and/or clever. The less seriously you take yourself, the more I like you.

This is what doesn’t qualify: Chest-puffing names like “The Awesomes” or “The Butt Kickers”. Get over yourself.

TOP 10 BEST SOFTBALL TEAM NAMES:

10. Stagger Ups (Honesty is the best policy.)

9. One Bad Inning (Story of my life.)

8. Alpha Gamma Sexy (I would have them much higher if this weren’t a Men’s team.)

7. B-Leaguered D-Leaguers (Self-deprecation will get you into my Top 10 almost every time.)

6. Angry Birds (Hmm.. topical, yet still a bit “niche”. Well played.)

5. Scared Hitless (Self-deprecation + Play On Words = Top 5)

4. Urine Trouble (You’re In Trouble… Urine Trouble.. steroids… clever.)

3. Beer Hunters (Even more apropo being a team in a mid-Missouri softball league. I wonder if they wear orange hunters-vests or just go all-camo?)

2. Where My Pitches At (See what they did there? That’s tricky if you say it fast three times. Loudly. At work.)

… and the #1 BEST Columbia Parks & Rec Slow-pitch softball team name….

1. Here Come The Runs (Sorry, this one wasn’t even close for me. They managed to mix a baseball/softball reference with a beer-drinking reference and self-deprecation shrouded in trash talk. Phenomenal work.)

That’s today’s “Jet’s Top 10″… see ya at the Blue Field!

Comments

  1. We play in the Thursday coed D league and I’ve always been a fan of “Beer Nuts” and, of course, our team…the Underachievers.

    • Haha.. well depending on your pre-season expectations, I can see that the “Underachievers” are 5-4 and in 4th place in your league!

      However, the “Beer Nuts” that you mention are 0-10. Sometimes, simply a name can make a team more legendary than any number of wins could…

      • We have definitely been underachieving this year. And the Beer Nuts a lot of fun to play against. They are a beer league team for sure!

        A few years ago there was a team called the Chupacabras and they always joked (at least I think it was a joke) about going to Dairy Queen after every game. By the way, a Chupacabra is a legendary creature that means “goat sucker”.

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